I went for Baptism Membership Encounter Weekend in Empress Hotel, Sepang for the last weekend.
Refreshing, awakening and reviving i must say. Pastor Chris Kam was the facilitator and speaker for the weekend. I admire him so much for the matter of fact that he shares the same sentiment as me when it comes to family. Indeed i could relate to his every single point and each and every word of wisdom was an eye opener to me. The way he sees things and places life into perspective really humbles me to live in simplity.
One of the most significant sharing was the part whereby he told us about planning his own funeral. Yes you heard it right, his own very funeral. Pastor Chris literally had in mind who’s supposed to do the epilogue, the worship, the speeches and etcetc. For the past years, my funeral did ran through my mind but i’ve never really plan my funeral into such details. He could actually imagine what each and every one would speak about him from his wife, his sons, his in-laws, his future daughter in laws, his maid, his church members and etc etc. The very reason why he wanted to do this is because he wanted to live out his life now by how he wanted himself to be remembered.
His point took me really far away until up to this very moment. If i die tomorrow, what will people speak of me? For me, the love of my life is the people i want to know what they think/say of me. What will my parents think/say of me? What will my sisters think/say of me? What will my friends think/say of me? What will my cousins think/say of me? One might say, it doesnt really matter what people think of you since you’re dead but as a christian i believe even if our body is dead, our spirit still lives on.
Again, it took me a while to digest what he said. My mind wandered into the future, beyond time and as i zoom myself into my very funeral, i got to say i am far beyond the “standard” of a real legacy. It’s not about someone talking good about you, it’s not about someone crying because they miss your presence, it’s not about a losing someone BUT to me it’s aboout the real lasting impression and impact you have in someone’s life, a mark.
I want my parents to know that i have taken good care of them till the day they die. I want my sister to know that i have been there for them as a role model and as a pillar of support. I want my future husband to know that i am the best wife he could ever dream off, his best friend, his soul mate and a great mother to his kids. I want my friends to know that i have been there to bring the best out of them and to bless them in any possible ways. I want to bless perhaps a stranger.
Will i just be history or a history maker? I wish i will not be a monument instead i want to live a legacy for my generations to remember my existence.
So far, i can honestly say that i have not love enough. Yes not trying my very best. Yes it’s taking things for granted. Anyway, It really humbles me to align my priorities and to set them right in order for me to really reach out to love. To make a small difference. It starts from point 1 which is ME 
Next, Pastor Chris then spoke about baggages and bondages in one’s live. How many of us are living in fears? How many of us have hidden secrets? How many of us have skeleton in the cupboard? How many of us are allowing out past to grab hold on us? How many are allowing bitterness and resentment to grip our soul? How many of us are struggling with bondages?
God, The Father in Heaven is always there waiting for His Children to come back to Him. Like the story of the Prodigal Son, The Father welcomes the son and wrap him in cloth of righteousness although he has stray away in disobedience. This is the very nature of the Father in Heaven too. Who said we are not worthy of God’s love? God loves everyone the SAME. God loves prostitutes the same as God loves pastors in church. The only thing that God hates is SIN.
It’s hard at times trying to comprehend the standard of God’s love but let me say that men’s love increases through performance and decreases through mistakes BUT God’s love never CEASES.
Let’s thank God for His amazing grace and unconditional love. If one actually repent from their sins, God’s compassion surpasses the sins and it grant us breakthroughs to free us from the captivity of sins. Are you willing to bow before the Lord and surrender your life back to Him? There is a price to pay, Jesus did not say the life of a christian will be smooth sailing but He did promise that His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.
As for my personal reflection, Jesus brought me back to His feet and i have rededicated my life back to Him. The Lord again reminded me of my direction and my heart’s desire to ultimately seek treasures in Him and not the world. The experience of being in the presence of God has certainly elevated my journey to press onto the heavenly prize. Thank you for filling up my love tank and i will walk diligently in serving you.
From now on, I will live my life a legacy
