My Notebook : A Walk to Remember

A short update

lydiayly — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:00:40 +0000

This year, almost every single angpow i get from my cousins, I get the question… “You’re next in turn alreaady” or “Where is your bf?”…. Yeah, it gets worse every year, I thought they only come from older generations!

Can someone get me the migration form Just kidding!!!

Am sick, coughing my lungs out. Been feeling like a dead worm for the past few days! Bluergh… Tomorrow, I will be leaving for Sitiawan then Lumut. Looking fwd to see Lena, Anson and Jian. The last time we met was 3 yrs ago. I mean all four of us together

So yeah, looking fwd to relive the BALI MOMENT!

I’m quite loss a little in the spiritual realm. Its the lack of God in my life. Feeling super empty atm.

Salvation

lydiayly — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:14:43 +0000

The greatest spiritual challenge in life is to concentrate on God. To focus and fix our eyes on Him. God’s blessing always make it difficult but trials almost always make us look at Him. Our heart tends to divert when life seems so easy and convenient.

Do we really ask God for more trials/troubles in life? I more often dare not because I hate it when I am challenged to get out of my comfort zone. To ask for help and to rely on Him.

After all, you just want to be self-sufficient. This brought me back to the question of salvation. What does salvation means to me?

God says “Lydia, look to me”. I say “Hang on, I can do it”.

Tonight, I’m just reflecting

Boring meme!

lydiayly — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:11:22 +0000

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your first name:
Love

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yes

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Replying whatsapp

Do you want someone dead?
Gosh, wat kind of question is this?

What was the last reason that you cried?
Cannot remember. Most probably telling mommy about my trip to Perth

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
LOL. Nope, no one in particular.

Is there a person in your life that can always make you smile?
Yes, plenty!

What are you listening to right now?
Jesus lover of my soul on your tube!

Do you want children?
Yes, definitely if I get married, if I dont, then will adopt

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Yes…snowy!

When is your birthday?
25 Sept

Do you like movie nights?
Depends on the company

How are you feeling?
Fairly excited, 9 days of holiday from now on!

Who was the last person you spoke on the phone with?
Philip

Did you go out or stay in last night?
Stayed in!

What’s something you really want right now?
Self-discipline

Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
Forgive best friend but can never be together with bf. I cant live with such betrayal.

Looking back in time have you ever wasted your time on a certain boy or girl?
Nope..I’m quite practical.

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
N/A

Did you sleep in past noon today?
Nope-working day

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Brush teeth, wash face, apply cream on my face!

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My bed

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment?
I think so

What are you doing besides this?
NOthing

If your friends warn you about someone, do you listen?
Yes, i would listen to my best friends.

Would you date someone twenty years older than you?
Neh…different channel and he will prolly be 5 yrs younger than my dad!

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point and aren’t around anymore?
Yes, my late grandmother and aunty

Could you go a day without eating?
HAHHAHAHHA! Never try-I dont think so

Whens the last time you kissed the person you have feelings for?
N/A

Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you?
Yeah Nokia 8310 when I was 18!

Would you make a good wife or husband?
I hope so

Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yes-extremely shy

Where is the person you like right now?
Secret

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
N/A

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Nope…

Do you think that you will be married within ten years?
Yes, I certainly hope that it is earlier than that. Next two years please?

Have you ever walked in on people having sex?
No.

Who was the last person you talked to?
Repeat question!!

Would you care if you saw the person you like, kissing someone else?
DUHHHHHHH

Would you rather be called hot, cute, or beautiful?
BEAUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL

Who was the last person you slept next to?
Nobody

UNIFI

lydiayly — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:05:16 +0000

Wondering why I’m posting so many photos lately? Coz we’ve UNIFI now and all the uploading is super duper fast

7 years since I graduated!

lydiayly — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:16:47 +0000

Stress…

lydiayly — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:46:02 +0000

Work stress is like mountain high now! The things a business owner goes through is ridiculously disturbing sometimes. Neverending is the word! I kinda thank God I’ve God else I know I can never take such amount of stress.

Today I face another difficult client and a staff is giving me attitude problem. To top it off, my clients are owing me a lot of money causing me to have bad cash flow. Going through such moments, you just wish you’re an employee instead of an employer! Sometimes just kek sei lei until you want to vomit blood.

I feel so tired *sobs*

During such times, I also wish I was a rich “tai tai” and working is an option not an obligation!!!

Scarry.com

lydiayly — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:09:24 +0000

You know what? The day where we stood in front of the podium during hazel’s wedding was like perth’s hottest ever moment. My back was burning so badly and I thought I was about to blackout anytime man. Too top it up we had only 2 hours of sleep the previous night.

So I told God “Die, I am going to faint BUT I really cant faint in front of 300 people and I cannot make a scene on hazel’s wedding. So GOD, you really need to pass me a bottle of cold water to calm my body temperature“.

The minute I finish talking to God, the officiating pastor came to me and pass me a bottle of cold mineral water”.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

He walked to me and passed me the water! I promise I was silently talking to myself. FUIIIYOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

HOW SCARRY IS THAT? So I think the crowd must have seen me gulping 500ml of water in 1minute. LOL.

God is sucha a champion god! I’m scared of Him now

TEHEHEHEHEHEH

Be free!

lydiayly — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 05:27:43 +0000

I really dislike the fact that too many women are struggling with body image in some form or another. If you think about it carefully, what’s ideal to you? Most women have a distorted idea on how they should look like. I’ve a friend who’s a size 4 thinks that she is fat while a girl who’s like size 2 thinks she’s fat on her arms lah or any hidden area.

What will Jesus do if he is in our shoes? Seriously, allowing life to be under the influence of media is not right. Celebrities makes it worst! To me it is doing a great unjustice to what God has fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s sad that all of us try to “customized” ourself to look slimmer. People with bigger bottom wants smaller bottoms, people with big boobs want to have smaller boobs, and the list of requirements increase and changes!

This morning as I was driving to work, the radio dj announced that a model size 16 Lucy Moore won an award to be in Ann Summers lingerie competition. I thought to myself “Wow, I’m size 16 and I’ve always struggled with my weight and people always tell me I should be a certain size”. But with this size, this model is winning an award in UK and she’s going to appear on media.

I understand the need to be healthy. I am overweight and it’s not going to do good if i want to conceive and bring up my children. So now I am trying to question myself “So what’s my healthy BMI?”. What do I really want and what size will I be comfortable? I need to accept certain facts about my biological system that I may not be able to achieve a supermodel size. I always dreamt of having a perfect body like Jessica Alba or Shuqi or whoever lah so that I can show off my body and wear whatever I want to wear. So the question I need to ask myself is this “Is my benchmark realistic and relevant? Why do I want a hot body? What’s the purpose of it?

Most of the time people think that looking good is more important than feeling good but seriously we can always look good but it does not necessarily makes us feel good. Humans are always dissatisfied. When you have 36,24,35, you tend to want beautiful skin, sharper nose, toner arms and blablablablablabla….Where do we draw our strength and esteem from? I think our focus is really wrong. If we draw strength from our body, we will definitely fail at some point of time. Our body will change. We will grow old and our metabolism will slow down. We will eventually be unpretty at some point.

Today, I am asking myself this “When will I be free from all the lies that I’ve believe all the years and when will I consciously decide I want to be free and happy from now on?

The picture below was taken when I was in Dublin together with Edmond. I felt very assured in his presence and he has always affirmed me as a jiejie! I think I want to have more moments like this whereby I dont struggle. My spirit is rested and I’ve that peace and joy in Christ. I like that feeling

It’s going to be a different journey from now on. Healing needs to come and I need to make everyday decision to be free.

p.s : it’s easier to be free in places like australia or uk, i wore sleeveless without feeling conscious! I want a change. It’s about time we stand up for ourself and our body! I want to free myself from my old-self! Jesus, help me through this journey!

Super unchristian post! Dont read it if you cant handle it!

lydiayly — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:28:47 +0000

Seriously, I super duper cannot stand those people who keeps using the “call yourself a christian ah?” and expect me to be like mother theresa! Hello, if i was all perfect and holy, then Jesus wouldnt need to die on the cross for me. I am working-in-progress okay?

Let’s call this person A and my client B ~~(BITCHY)~~. So I sent an email acccidentally to my client asking who’s the ~~bitch~~ when she was the ~~bitch~~ i was referring to. So she called up and make a big hoo haa to A lah. So A blasted me for making such a blunder and he starts bombarding me with statements like “Can you go ask your pastor whether what you did was right?”.

I felt stupid but unashamed of it though, because as a matter of fact the client was a bitch. I’ve not met sucha a bitch who replies so rudely for the past 6 years of being in the sales line.

Back to the situation, so A really provoked me with his stupid statement. I simply cannot believe for someone who doesnt think God exists come and question me about my moral conducts. If I can really respect you, fine, i admit. But by bringing up the religion card is like the most stupidest thing ever!

Who are you to judge seriously? It’s really amazing that people expect christians to be like mother theresa. Worst of all, you dont come and teach me when you sendiri got your own shit holes which I never bring it up because it’s really NOMB!

Seirously, being a christian, I dont need to hide my failures and I’m proud of my weaknesses. I think it takes a lot of guts to be real to yourself and genuine to others! I’m not perfect but I am trying. At least I AM TRYING!!!

People dont get it, do they? So easy to see the speck of others but what about the plank in your eye? Some point in time, someone needs to invest a good mirror!

So Jesus, I am a bitchy rebel today. So in need of you. How lah, people expect me to be like mother theresa but there can only be one mother theresa?

p.s : i actuallly did not call her a bitch. i just wrote there “who’s the bitch?”. she sendiri admit herself that she’s the bitch i was referring to and challenge me to go Cambodia to look for her if i want to know who’s the bitch. Interesting aye? It was A QUESTION AND NOT A REMARK but she can still continue to say that according to msian law, i’ve committed sexual harassment. In the first place, if your english is no good, it’s a question not a statement. I pity those who has poor english vocabulary. Someone needs tuition class

p.s.s. : Let me share with you a good tip. In life, if you want to correct/rebuke someone, make sure that person respect you for your values and principles. Else, your advice/comment doesnt bring any value/meaning.

Papa choosing the right size of jacket for mommy!

lydiayly — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 06:27:22 +0000

Taken during our trip to Florence, Italy. This boutique was a famous place for genuine leather and papa persuaded mommy to buy a jacket with a personalised name embossed with gold on it.

My parents came from humbling background. Mommy always say that they barely had much money and they only managed to buy a cupboard and bed during the 1st year of their marriage. Looking at them now, I know it’s all hardwork and God’s grace.

*Papa’s smile was so sweet*